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Mon, May. 11th, 2009, 07:46 pm
beautyizindaeye: New

Hi my name is Ashley im 19 and a mother of three beautiful babies..Gezus 2 and a half..Adriana 1 and 4 months and my newest Love 2 months old.. i live in a room because we're renovating im always alone with my kids i live in an area where theres only grass and trees im so alone and I wake everyday to fighting with my bf.. depression is ruining my life they put me on prozac but its not working i cry everyday..i scream everyday..i feel like running away everyday but i love my children to much i could never leave them...i just need some one to talk to cause amongs all things i have no friends i secluded my self and where i live well i cant make any so i have no one to talk to.. as I type this my kids are destroying my house and i want to die.. they dont stay in there cribs or playpens they climb out and run a muck around the house ..i need help maybe a mother who knows what i feel and how it effects yur whole life .. please

Tue, May. 12th, 2009 07:40 am (UTC)

Wow. Okay... it sounds like you've got your hands full and overflowing.

Have you talked to your doctor about how your feeling still? How long have you been on the perscription? My understanding is they take some time to work, but you should keep your doctor informed about how your doing incase he or she needs to change the perscription.

I wish I could come over to your house and play with your little ones for a while so you could have a nap, or just sit and visit with you so you know your not alone. Reading this on livejournal.... there's so little I can do. Do you have anyone - anyone at all - you could call to help you at your home for a little while?

I can tell you I used to yell and scream lots. I cried daily, and I used to call my husband home from work early lots. It was a nightmare. I'm better now. I'm happy now, and I believe that there's a point where you are going to be happy again too.

I'd be willing to email, to ask questions and talk.

Tue, May. 12th, 2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
beautyizindaeye: hi..

Thabks for replying I came to tears as usual reading how generous yu are and would be willing to help. My doctor is well informed of my situation exepct he thinks I get some help
Around the house I'm afriad to tell him I'm alone and feel like this cause well there are a lot of women
That have gone crazy. I read yur reply this morning I haven't even stepped out of bed yet and my bf is already fighting because
Of pampers and such clutter around the room but when their are 5 people stuck in one room its gonna get messy. My daughter just pulled off her paper! God
It never ends for me I don't ever see my self being happy again. I won't go upstairs to his mothers apt cause she diabetic and
Just came out of the hospital and her family feels I do othing to contribute or help
But I can't I told my bf today I can't even take care of my kids and they want me to draw her blood
Everyday.. Everyday I grow weaker I have no where to go or turn. My family lives out of state and are very
Critical its like no one understands my condition.$
Why I can just jump out of bed and be super mom and help everyone
I just want the pain to stop...I've been on it a month now but I'm sure
Its not gonna help if I'm in a stressful enviorment I just have no where to go with
Three kids..why won't this end and why can't I be at peace

Tue, May. 12th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)
cknk: Re: hi..

I remember being depressed and in tears at my obsteatricians office during my second pregnancy. My doctor was urging me to go to the emergency room of a psychiatric clinic, and I was scared that if I went, and told them how bad I feel then somehow everything would collapse around me and they'd take away my child or institutionalize me or something. But I went anyway.

I don't know where you are, so I don't know what the possibilities for getting help are, but if you admit to your doctor you get no help around the house, and exactly how you feel, in all its gruesomeness, he might be able to connect you with people who can help. Maybe there's a volunteer organization nearby. Maybe there's some government mother-child program that could offer a few hours a week of babysitting. Maybe there's something. Or maybe there's nothing. But tell him, because maybe he can help connect you with other places that can help.

How is your sleep going? What are you eating? Eating and sleeping are very, very important to having enough energy to get out of bed. When I was depressed I discovered my blood sugar levels fluctuate quite a bit and I feel a lot better when I keep them stable by eating lots of fats and proteins. It was a change for me because I used to think that fats and proteins are unhealthy or something that I should limit, but a combination of reading the research and just living on this fuller-food diet has led me to believe this is what works best for me. No one can be super-mom if they don't get enough good food. Lots and lots of good food. Heaps and heaps of good food. You've been through three pregnancies in a very short amount of time. Your body is probably starving and the brain is always the first thing to suffer if your short good food.

Edited at 2009-05-12 08:09 pm (UTC)

Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
eyeshaddows: kid's havok

i have a best friend who has three children and is pregnant with her fourth. before she got with, what is actually another friend of mine, she had to do all the work by herself, and now, still is conquering the household when he's gone at work. all i can say to you, sweetie is that i know this is VERY difficult,and, without help, you're gonna feel like ripping your hair out on a daily basis.... also, i wanted to tell you that, my friend did really well, by just making a "schedule" everyday. she wakes up in the morning with a crying baby, (and another on the way SOON), and two toddlers screaming for breakfast and cartoons...she gives the something to eat, has her first cigarette of the day, then sits on the couch WITH them for a bout an hour. she makes up activities for them to do everyday, like, arts&crafts time, wich sometimes only consistes of drawing on notebook paper with different colored pens and a couple pencils because money's so tight. she also makes trips to a local park to run-out some of their energy, or lats the play in the back yard when she can tolerate the heat(we've had a HOTT one this year!) to keep them interested in the projects they do, ('cause you KNOW a toddler's attention-span),she makes specific goals and get creative, herself with the different kinds of things they can make, like annversary cards for friends, or pictures for grandma....
i hope this helped at least a little.
good luck, and please: try to stay sane!

Thu, Jun. 17th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)

you seem to have a lot to deal with at such a young age!I am a lonely stay at home mom of only one and I'm falling down postpartum depression at the moment.
If you ever want to chat, we could share and help each other perhaps, though I believe three children to handle must be such a hard work for one girl.
anyways I'm a good ear so if you ever want to chat feel free to give me your msn?
take good care of you