hi everyone. i thought i'd try this community because i couldn't really get anyone to understand what was going on with me in the other two communities i tried. i have had an ED for years on end, now, and been hospitalized twice for wich. now i'm pregnant, and HAVE to eat! i was consuming a maximum of 500 calories before pregnancy, and now, in my fourth month, have moved up to 1200-1500 cals a day. sometimes i get more, because i make a meal plan daily including up to two snacks and three meal, also giving myself more if i get hungry. but i'm just so ashamed, and yes, i know its so self centered, but i'm terrified of gaining weight and getting fat. unfortunately, i wasn't built like those girls that only get a baby-bump, i got it ALL! butt, thighs, lovehandles, arms, and boobs! i'm just so sunken with guilt everytime i eat and feel like a slob on a daily basis. i guess i was hoping to find someone else dealing with the same issues, or someone that has dealt with an ED before and know what i'm going through. ALSO, i have this hgorrible person stalking me and questioning me about what happened to me when a guy beat the crap outta me and threw me from a car! this doesn't help the sadness and depression, i mean, she keeps referring to something that happened in pennsylvania, and i live in tennessee. also, that guy was in his 40's and the guy that assaulted me was in his late 20's. she won't stop leaving me comments saying i have a "fake" page and that i'm lying. but i'm NOT, and i AM who i say i am! i don't understand why this person is so hellbent on making me feel like shit, because i did NOTHING wrong!! like i said this just makes everything worse, because i take lying VERY seriously. help!