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Wed, May. 14th, 2008, 07:59 pm
ashmont928: Pregnant and hopeless

I don't know were to turn too or what to do. I recently just found out i was pregnant and i was extremely scared, confused, nervous and every other feelings i guess you could imagine because I'm only 19. I live with my boyfriend and we have been together for 2 years. When we found out he was so happy {or atleast he claimed to be}. Just a couple weeks ago things started to go down hill with him and i. I have been really stressed becuase we have two people that are staying with us and it seems like my boyfriend just wants to be with his friend than be with me which we used to do all the time. I dont know if its just my emotions that are getting to me i just feel like since i have became pregnant he just does not want to be around me or have anything to do with me. He never says anything about the baby. He never asks about it. We were just so happy and now it just seems like we are not the same anymore, I dont know if i am just taking thinks to seriously because i am pregnant or what? I have never been this upset about anything. I have no one to talk to and when i try and talk to him about it he just says that it is my emotions and that i am just crazy. I am just at the point that i feel i should just leave. Please give me advice i dont know where else to turn.

Thu, May. 15th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)

Stop and take a breath!
Right now your hormones are going to be so fricking crazy, anything right now is going to feel 10 times more out of control.
How far along are you? How long has your boyfriend known?
Give him some time to really soak it in, right now he's going through the various stages... excitement, anxiety, etc. Eventually he'll come around to acceptance and be much more attentive. My MIL gave me a good piece of advice, she said that for men pregnancies aren't real until they see that baby in the delivery room. And that was true. When I was in labour he was so excited, and then when she finally arrived he actually looked at cut the cord! And this is the guy that faints at the sight of blood haha. So right now your boyfriend is just having a freak out.
I do suggest that you try and talk to him about how you are feeling... even if you have to write him a letter. Then at least he'll know what page you are on, so to speak.
Do you have any close friends to talk to, or family? If not then I recommend talking to your doctor about seeing a counselor. Being pregnant is a very stressful but wonderful experience, so its important to take care of yourself.
Oh and Congratulations! :)

Fri, May. 16th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)

I am 12 weeks, My boyfriend has none since the moment i found out. He was there when i took the tests. I did write him a letter and i guess i freaked out more than i should have because i was cleaning out the closet and i found the tests that i took which i thought he threw away. When i found them i realized that he actually does care, i guess he just does not know how to show it yet. Things have been alot better aince i wrote him a letter, I just let everything go. I don't really have that many friends that i Would talk to about these things. I'm really close to my mom but i don't know if i could talk to her about these things. I guess that saying is true "A Woman becomes a mother when she finds out she is pregnant and a man becomes a father when he sees the baby" Or something like that. Thanks so much for the advice. It really helped alot, I knew i just had to talk to somone who went through what i am going through. Thanks again.

Fri, May. 16th, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)

You are really welcome, its nice to hear how people get on :)
Things will get even better with time too! Just take it easy, give yourself extra breaks and TLC. There are great books out there for dads-to-be too, which might help him adjust. But don't push him, just say "hey i found this, thought it might be useful for you" and leave it at that, with any man push him too far, and he'll run a mile! haha. Just like the big kids they are ;)
Try talking to your mum too, you'd be surprised how much she will sympathise with you :)

Tue, May. 12th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC)
beautyizindaeye: I feel you

Im also 19 .. I have 3 kids.. thru out my pregnancies i felt my bf was never there he went out all the time and left my alone home rubbing my belly. now i feel like i was just used to make babies im locked in a room with three kids while he works all night and sleeps all day..im so lonley and depressed i cry everyday and night and he doesnt even notice he just think i dont love him anymore but i do i just think the way were living is killing me.. im always screaming im always sad.. i hate the way i treat him now because i just want to run away i basically ignore the world around me because it sucks .. right now im at the verge of a break dwn my kids r screaming and im all alone i love them so much but this harder than i thought..my aim is boobie1406 if you ever wanna talk i can feel your pain..

Tue, May. 12th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
ashmont928: Re: I feel you

so i wrote that entry a while ago and since then i left him because he had left me stranded one night and went to the bar with his friend in my Car!! So even though i didnt want to my mom and dad came and packed all my stuff from my house and i moved in with my mom. I had my son 3 months early i beleive it was from all the stress. When he realized that i was not going to deal with his crap he straightned up a bit. When i had my son he totally changed, He is a great dad. Im sorry to hear about your situation, Sometimes i get so stressed out i just lock my self in the bathroom or i take my son for a walk. Its hard and now he wants a girl!!!!! I could imagine 3!